LO is just over 3 months old. TBH I have been so freaking exhausted recently that I don't know if I'm overreacting or what. There is a background on DWIL with me getting upset with DH and what I consider his enmeshed family that I wrote during my pregnancy, but I think that this is under an anon account -I think SILs may use this website.
Anyway there was a large "mother's day/birthday" get together at one of my SILs houses with my two SILs and their families, MIL & SFIL, and cousin in-law, plus some of SIL's friends. I always have a hard time with the big family get-togethers because I feel like all of the dysfunction starts to show, and I usually prefer small get togethers with his family members. But anyway, I decided to go since several family members had birthdays recently and it was kind of a combo mother's day/birthday celebration.
So a few things set me off during the get together (I could go into more detail later) but here are the two main things. (1) SIL recently adopted a newborn baby. Cousin-in-law has only met my LO twice ever (the second time was at this party). Cousin-in-law didn't acknowlege LO AT ALL. NOT EVEN ONCE. I handed her a birthday card and she hugged me, but she didn't once come over to say hi or anything to LO. Meanwhile she held SIL's baby pretty much the whole time we were there. I mean I think she is being passive aggressive, but I have no idea what she'd be upset about.
2.) 8-year-old Nephew told me and DH not once, but twice, that SIL (not his mother, but his aunt) said we were feeding our baby too much. Obviously he overheard part of a conversation between my two SILs. This seriously pissed me off. SIL has a 5 week old adopted baby and I never once even thought to comment on how her LO is eating (or really anything else about her LO except how cute and sweet she is, and to see how SIL and BIL are adjusting). I don't get it. Yes LO is in the 80th percentile for growth but I think that is a great thing and honestly his eating habits are only between me, DH and the doctor. I left the party and burst into tears on the drive home because of SIL's stupid comment.
So, DWIL, am I over-reacting? Before it gets mentioned, yes I am pretty sure I have postpartum depression, I have been meeting with a therapist weekly and have an appointment with a psychiatrist in a week. I'm really freaking tired too so maybe I am overreacting. The therapist says she understands where I am coming from with feeling uncomfortable with his family but that I need to learn how to deal with them for DH and LO's sake. She thinks that running away from them isn't going to solve anything. She encourages setting boundaries though.
What, if any, boundaries should DH and I set with his family?