It's my first time posting here but I need some advice on how to handle this sutuation:
Mil and fil are staying with us "to meet" our one month old. Fil is here to work with dh and mil is here with me. All. Day. Long.
It is obvious that she doesn't like me and is not having a good time being here because all the attention is not on her. That part doesn't bother me, I ignore it. The part that gets me is that she won't look at her granddaughter even when 6 inches away from her. She told sil that she doesn't hold the baby because "the baby doesn't like her," she comes out of the room at 2 pm. The other day I left the baby on the couch next to her to go put laundry away and asked if it was okay. I came back to her leaning away from the baby, her back almost to her, and the baby had rolled toward her. When I came back and said something she laughed and said "oh she moved" and went back to staring at the tv. Then when dh is home she acts like I don't let her hold her granddaughter and she's so sad about it. She doesn't offer to.hold her even when I'm trying to do something and baby is fussy. When she actually has held her, she'll hold her away from her body for about a minute then when I say " if you want to put her down...." she will immediately.
I'm so tempted to tell her off but I don't want to cause problems. Dh is seeing that she is not trying to spend time with her or me, or him for that matter. I want to say something but don't know how to say it without her "feeling attacked" and causing a big scene. How could I go about letting her know how I feel without the drama.
We have had issues before and when I've spoken up she gets all angry, tells dh that she's so hurt by what I said and then goes and tells the rest of his family how awful I am to her. Dh supports me but wishes we could get along.
Mil and fil are staying with us "to meet" our one month old. Fil is here to work with dh and mil is here with me. All. Day. Long.
It is obvious that she doesn't like me and is not having a good time being here because all the attention is not on her. That part doesn't bother me, I ignore it. The part that gets me is that she won't look at her granddaughter even when 6 inches away from her. She told sil that she doesn't hold the baby because "the baby doesn't like her," she comes out of the room at 2 pm. The other day I left the baby on the couch next to her to go put laundry away and asked if it was okay. I came back to her leaning away from the baby, her back almost to her, and the baby had rolled toward her. When I came back and said something she laughed and said "oh she moved" and went back to staring at the tv. Then when dh is home she acts like I don't let her hold her granddaughter and she's so sad about it. She doesn't offer to.hold her even when I'm trying to do something and baby is fussy. When she actually has held her, she'll hold her away from her body for about a minute then when I say " if you want to put her down...." she will immediately.
I'm so tempted to tell her off but I don't want to cause problems. Dh is seeing that she is not trying to spend time with her or me, or him for that matter. I want to say something but don't know how to say it without her "feeling attacked" and causing a big scene. How could I go about letting her know how I feel without the drama.
We have had issues before and when I've spoken up she gets all angry, tells dh that she's so hurt by what I said and then goes and tells the rest of his family how awful I am to her. Dh supports me but wishes we could get along.